ramblings.

Radiohead– Creep

When you were here before, couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fucking special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t care if it hurts, I wanna have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here, ohhh ohhhh
She’s running out the door…
She’s running out, she’s run, run, run, run….run….
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here

I don’t belong here.

But I don’t belong anywhere. I’m too ugly, too untalented, too flawed. I can’t fit into anything. who would want to take me in, besides? Do I hear “no one”? Right. You win the prize, constant reader. Too bad you’re nonexistant. Just like I am, it seems. So it’s a dialogue between a writer who no one knows and a reader who doesn’t exist. How very pleasant.

Yep, I’m worthless. Useless. Any other -less adjective you can think of. I deserve every bit of pain that I put myself through, every bit of pain that I end up recieving, and more. I deserve to hurt. I deserve what’s happening. I deserve to be falling out of control, falling apart, falling…falling…

And why do I feel this way? I honestly don’t know. Why do I feel anything?

So many questions, so many rants, so much to say, so little capacity to express it.

Blah.