There’s no way in hell I’m spending next week sitting around doing nothing whole day. Nohow! Ugh. My house is insane crazy hot and my room is somehow worse, people keep YELLING at me, and I’ve read all the non-crappy books I own. Anyone want to go shopping/for a walk/see a movie/ANYTHING? I’m bored bored bored to tears. And I have to jet over to Fabricland so I can get fabric so I can sew something. Someone come with me. I miss human company. I want my people. TYCW LADIES, WHERE ARE YOU?
Lifting weights while watching Saturday morning cartoons. SPEAKING OF WHICH, time to make a list of things I need/want:
~~ A GODDAMN HAIRCUT
~~ New weights (15-20lb)
~~ To find my ankle weights
~~ To use said ankle weights
~~ Pants (again)
That’s about it. Hwaaaaa… Will update later.
And it’s where I am. It’s summer vacation time, freaks and geeks! Time to get trashed off my face, sleep all day, party all night, and have lots of crazy flings!
Except, you know….not really. Not at all. Except for the party part. I do plan on going to many a party. Or at least not being in my house as much as possible. I’m gonna have lots of fun this summer, if all turns out well. And it will. It better =P
Yesterday I had my science exam, then went to Malvern town centre with the bunch. Bought a thing for a thing. It’s quite cute, but what it is is totally classified information as it is tippity-top seceret.
And now I’m sitting on my butt, watching Dawson’s Creek. I will later be watching something equally cheesy and stupid and openly mocking it, because it’s the first day and that’s how I do, yo. BUT, much has changed from last summer. I:
1. Am not planning on doing the same for rest of the summer. Do have plans to do lots of insane and cool things, a list of which will surface eventually.
Um… I can’t remember the rest. I’ll edit this later.
.:Edit:. OH HELLZ YES. I HAVE MY OWN STUDIO.
Well, kind of. It’s a room that was kind of random… had a TV and PS2, so it was the game-type room. Also had an iron/ironing board. WELL, since it has a closet and an ironing board, I’d been hanging my clothes in there when paint was drying.And my mom’s letting me have that room in addition to my bedroom. So now I’m putting the sewing machine and trombone in there. I’m buying lots of paper and putting it on the walls. I’m going thrifting to see if I can get a dressmaker’s dummy or mannequin or something.
Somebody buy clothes from me.
Yeah, I went thrifting. Didn’t find a dressmaker’s dummy. Found an obscenely priced mannequin and as such, didn’t buy it. May make own mannequin out of old crutches and such. Did find goggles. NOT swimming goggles. They have lights and require batteries, I don’t know what they’re for. Meh. I’ll figure it out. And if I don’t, I’ll reconfigure them into the most pro sunglasses you’ve ever seeen. Except you can’t close them and they’ll be all like.. not-closeable? Yeah. Shut up.
This week ought to be pretty laid back. Cleaning today/tomorrow, STC Thursday, maybe library Friday? Anyone wanna do something on Friday? Then weekend-time! Hopefully I get to see m’boy. =) Also, going to FIX THE SEWING MACHINE. By fix, I mean thread. Woohoo. Then…. nothing on Monday, food shopping on Tuesday, PARTAY on Wednesday! Aww, hellz yeah.
Summery summery summer.
Qizzery quiz quiz.
Have you ever…
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend’s car
(r) stolen a car (Do Hotwheels count?)
(q) been in love
() been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(r) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of my parent’s house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
(r) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
(x) been to Canada
() been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) eaten sushi
(x) been snowboarding
(x) been moshing at a concert (Crappy moshing)
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(r) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
( ) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake id (Pretended to be Darrin in order to sign out library book)
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars (napped)
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest/colouring contest
( ) run a red light
(x) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
() witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
() squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
() been to the opposite side of the country
( ) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
() played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins (Dimes!)
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
( ) made prank phone calls
() laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(r) danced in the rain (moshed in the rain)
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe -I wish!
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire TOXIC FIRE
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
(x) worn pearls
(x) screamed penis in class
() ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
() done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.
(x) stayed up all night
() pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
() had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(r) believe in ghosts
() have more then 30 pairs of shoes
() worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch - WTF??
() played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you’re hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused -Alll the time
( ) caught a fish then ate it
() caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you (Queens!)
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone’s name
() slept naked (What if there’s a fire?)
() skinny dipped
( ) been kicked out of your house
(x) dreamed of killing someone you hate
Done.
Radiohead– Creep
When you were here before, couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fucking special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t care if it hurts, I wanna have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here, ohhh ohhhh
She’s running out the door…
She’s running out, she’s run, run, run, run….run….
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here.
But I don’t belong anywhere. I’m too ugly, too untalented, too flawed. I can’t fit into anything. who would want to take me in, besides? Do I hear “no one”? Right. You win the prize, constant reader. Too bad you’re nonexistant. Just like I am, it seems. So it’s a dialogue between a writer who no one knows and a reader who doesn’t exist. How very pleasant.
Yep, I’m worthless. Useless. Any other -less adjective you can think of. I deserve every bit of pain that I put myself through, every bit of pain that I end up recieving, and more. I deserve to hurt. I deserve what’s happening. I deserve to be falling out of control, falling apart, falling…falling…
And why do I feel this way? I honestly don’t know. Why do I feel anything?
So many questions, so many rants, so much to say, so little capacity to express it.
Blah.
